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Monday, 12 March 2018


At this moment, the fun wasn’t inside but outside as

people were outside eating chicken Barbecue,

drinking from Red cups and 80% smoking

cigarettes, exchanging PINS, for my mind, My

Nokia X2-01 self dey message nah(whatsapp things

)…Some were even doing Rap Battle with


“Ehhhhhh? RAP BATTLE? I must murder someone

today” I said to myself as I remember me, myself

and I as the Rap king in my Secondary School.

Omo! As I reach there eh, come see boys rapping in

phonetics,british accents and some white kids also

there and damn! They were GOOD!!!!!… (I swear e

no good make one dey claim brilliant/good/king in

the midst of average people )

No one told me to leave there before I disgrace my

Crown (Imagine BAALE for one small town in AJAH

dey claim royalty for OBA OF BENIN KINGDOM.. E

no plum nah )..

“Wassup, seen Asamoah?”.. I asked a church

member I recognized as he pointed a place for me..

Getting there now,I saw 2 of those girls that I

concluded were Brostitute going in the place, and a

Bouncer(HFP worker, e fit be bricklayer for HFP

self) standing at the entrance who told me I can’t

enter there. I was trying to show my Edo washing

and settings powers(I.e We be one nah bro, you be

my big bro, no dey yahn like dat nah) on the

bouncer when Tobby came from nowhere to touch


“GUY! Wetin you dey do for the LAZII DRUIDS

LOUNGE?” He asked me after he took me

somewhere quiet.

Looking confused, I asked “LAZII DRUIDS? That’s

the name of the party now”..

“EL-HO-EL (LOL)” he said.. Then he continued..

“You have no idea the party your in mehn! This

party budget is 3million naira, you think Michael

and his friends can raise that money? Abi you think

say na coincidence say michael Papa and his

mother nor dey house?”

Ok, at this moment, I was scared and confused as I

listened to tobby.. Gosh! How did I survive that

midnight mouth odour of his self?

.. He continued “LAZII DRUIDS is a brotherhood,

consisting of rich kids from the top schools in

nigeria, both Secondary schools and University, and

that lounge you see there is meant for members

only.. Everyone in that place contributed to this

party and Hell, this is not Michael’s house as we the

invitees were told, plus most of the parents of this

Guys are either Masons or anyhow”

I was soaked in confusion.

“So my friend of 2months bad like this? So things

like this exists among the rich? Chai.. What has this

world turned into? Blah blah blah”.. I was thinking

in my mind when I heard Tobby said

“Me I am here for DJockey and Girls oh! You better

discover your reason of being here before you jam..

Meanwhile, where is Yvonne? Been looking for her


YVONE!!!!!!!.. That selfish santa Clause?

Mtchewwww.. (In my mind)

“She told me she was going to sleep in one of the

rooms man, don’t really know the exact room”.. I


* I lied to him right? Lol! You want make he go

finish the contract for me? Taah!!!! Make she sleep

for dia jare Stingen girl of okikiology(Okiki means

something in Yoruba and Edo I think) .

Was still trying to contain the shock I just got after

I left Tobby with one girl, heading straight to the

“____/” pool.

Getting to the pool chair, I saw that same Guy that

was standing with faith ealier today, sitting on my

space, talking to her.. “Ahan! This Guy na winch?

He no dey fear?”.. My jealous mind screamed in


When Faith saw me, she said “Hi Baby, Seen him?”..

Please spare me a minute so we reason a little..

Your Babe, or babe wey you dey try minister

to don ever make you look special in front of

another man sotey you self start to dey pity

the man? Or the babe just do nice things to

you just to make the other guy jealous? .. If

babe never do am for you before, its either You are

safe(I wish she never did it) or you are yet to be

used as a tool.

“Ummm.. Nope” I answered faith as she wore a sad

face .

“Niggi(I learnt it few mins ago from tobby) wassup

now? How’s the party?” I asked the Dude with a

“YOLO” face… “Cool bro, just perfect”.. He replied

with a face I interpreted as “Damn! Bad market


Lost in this euphoria(chancing a guy all dressed up

in GUCCI with my borrowed shoes and slim fitted

shirt .. No!!!!! The chinos were mine oh! ), I

went to pick a towel by the pool side to cover

Faith’s legs because I could see her black lacey

pan…ties when I stood directly opposite her.

(Funny how that didn’t give me a hard-on then but

now it does )

When I did this, she knew what I saw and I could

bet she was turned on by it.. At this moment, I

couldn’t stand any longer as my stomach pain went

in deep!!!!

“Ok, I can’t stand any longer, I am tipsy I guess”.. I

told her in my fake borrowed accent . (But tipsy?

Dat na lie oh! Na belle dey worry me sha )

“Wanna lie with me?”.. She asked.. At this point,

nothing surprised me anymore as I jumped into the

chair with my lagbaja visible from my trousers(The

tin mean business oh!!!!!).

But as I was sitting down, I saw Asamoah outside

holding a bottle of strange shape.. Five months

later, I saw that same bottle on Rick Ross’s Video.

CIROC Was the nam though . Didn’t care to go

meet him, cos I couldn’t walk and right there, I just

discovered my reason of being there. (Because this

Sekxy girl wanted me here I thought..)


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