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Tuesday, 23 October 2018

BLEEDING HEART CHAPTER 11 PART 1

~The Felipe's at the top (Dijon and Joanne)
"... Lisa please can we talk. Just give me a few minutes p-please I'm begging you. Just hear me out first." The person begs with a pained and breaking voice."
I turn around and see Nathan looking at me with pleading eyes and a pained expression on his face. Is he in pain? Why is he in pain? I'm the one meant to be in pain not him.
I swallow and clear my throat before replying. I don't even know what reply to give to that.
"Na-nathan u-um hi... I r-really d-don't kn-know w-what to say now." I stutter hopelessly.
"I know but please just give me a chance to explain. Please." He begs me.
"Umm... There's a major surgery coming up tomorrow and I'm one of the assisting nurses so I need a clear head and no distraction." He nods his head urging me to continue.
"How about you give me your number and I'll give you a call after the surgery and we'll meet up somewhere for your talk?" I ask him. I clearly don't know what I am doing but it feels like the right thing to do so I just follow my heart and ignore my head.
"Okay that's fine. Here take my card." He tells me handing me two cards. "The first one has my office numbers and the numbers of my assistant incase you don't reach me. And the second has my personal numbers. Feel free to call anytime. No pressure."
"O-okay. No pressure." I repeat to myself trying to calm my racing heart. I just hope I don't regret this. I'd have to call my therapist for advice.
He's still standing in front of me and looking at me when I come out of my thought. I raise an eyebrow at him.
"Oh sorry. I'm leaving now." He says before turning to leave when I stop him by touching his shoulder. He tenses at first but quickly relaxes trying to hide his shock. I quickly retract my hand and clear my throat before speaking.
"S-sorry. Please let Ashley know I wouldn't be seeing her tomorrow. And another nurse will be attending to her." I tell him and don't wait for his reply before turning and walking away.
I grab my purse and leave the hospital building. I don't bother briefing Nancy because she knows her rounds and I already left her the folders with a note attached.
I get to the car and knock on the window before Sandra unlocks it for me and I get in.
"Girl where have you been? I've been parked here for over thirty minutes and you just show up without an apology." Sandra rambles but stops when I don't reply. She looks at me and notices my expression before asking.
"Hey Lee are you okay? What happened?" She asks worriedly.
"Can we just go home. Please." I croak out on the verge of tears.
"Is it me? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout. I'm sorry Lisa." She tells me over and over again but I zone out thinking of other things.
Why did I touch Nathan? Why does he still have that much effect on me? Should I call him to talk? I don't want to relieve my past. I don't want to discuss that day with him. Why did he have to show up again? A lot of 'why' questions running around in my head with no answer for them.
"Lisa we're here." Sandra tells me shaking me gently before turning off the ignition.
I feel my cheeks wet and I put out my hand to swipe at it before registering them as tears. I didn't even realize I had been crying. I grab my purse and get out of the car with Sandra on my heel still apologizing for what she did not do.

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